I have a confession– I have been a bad wife

For the first two years of our relationship we had sex whenever we could. She travels for her job so there would be times where we didn’t see each other for a week or 2 or 3 at a time and when she got into town we fucked like bunnies. We moved in together 3 months shy of our 2 year anniversary and things changed shortly there after. It had nothing to do with me, or her, or my son, it was outside forces. Three months after our 2 year anniversary my world screeched to a halt and she had no choice but to stand by and try to help. Starting the second week in March I was on a roller coaster for the next 101 days and they were the worst in my 38 years. In those 101 days I had two dogs have to be put to sleep for cancer and heart problems. I had 2 cats sneak out of the house for a week at a time and then finally we found them and got them home. The biggest thing however was my mom got sick and died within 70 days. In the aftermath our sex life DIED. From the time my mom first entered the hospital until last week we had sex 3 times and two of those I felt guilty and even tho I didn’t want touched I did take care of her. Going from 3-4 times over the course of a couple days to 3 times in 14 months was such a huge change and I am surprised my wife put up with it. I didn’t really think she would ever leave because she would never do that, she tried to do everything she could and never said a word about it. Sex was always a HUGE part of our relationship, She was in a 11 year relationship and her ex-wife stopped having sex with her before they even got married. I was in a relationship with a man for 13 years that was never sexually satisfying. I tried but we were not on the same page. Never in those 13 years did I get off when it wasn’t by my own hand. I am in no way blaming him, he tried but I was to embarrassed to ask for what I needed. When we separated I was seeing someone for about 6 months, kinda a FWB thing but she was so vanilla and we were even less compatible then me and my ex-husband. I thought that my sex life was over and was just going to suck, til I met my wife. We established before we even saw each other (we met on-line) that sex was important and needed to be to make us work. I opened the box by telling her about “The CrashPad” and gave her my username and password to the site so she could check it out, careful to mention a couple scenes that really turned me on. We had sex for the first time on our second date and not only did she want to go down on me ( I didn’t let her then I was to anxious) she mentioned throwing me over the bed face down and fucking me with a strap on. I was in heaven. We are very honest about what we like, want and need and have the best time going to the toy stores together. Last month when I went to my annual I mentioned to my Dr that my sex drive was gone. She said it was most likely depression due to my mom dying but she decided to add a new medication to the anti-depressant I was already on, and guess what. I want her ass any and every way I can get it. I have become more aggressive and love that for the last 3 days she has been my butch bottom and I have rocked her world so hard. The sex was incredible but the connection we reestablished between us is even better. We are back in line and connected again. I am so happy she stuck with me thru this and I am looking forward to making up for lost time. ūüėČ

For the love of a Butch

God I love Butch women, I have since the age of 10 and I’m now in my later 30’s. My first Butch crush was a friend of my mothers, she kinda¬†adopted¬†my mom as her second mom and came over a lot. I couldn’t explain my attraction to her I didn’t have the knowledge or vocabulary for it but I had to be near her. ¬†Just the thought of her these 28 years later gives me a slight shiver, I cant quite remember what she smelled like but I remember that everytime I got a wiff of her my heart would skip a beat. She played basketball and softball and I loved going to her games. I actually have her phone number in my phone because when my mom died last year I was going thru her phone to contact people and saw it. I vividly remember her coming over one day and I stole her wallet so she couldn’t leave, when I gave it back to her I had added a note inside that said “I love you”. I also have a couple pictures of her on my computer, one of her as a teenager about 17 and one taken with my mom 2 years ago where she is 43. In a way I compare all butches to her I cant help it.

I was 21 years old before another woman caught my attention, she was the instructer in a class I was taking and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her, I was so confused because I didn’t recognize these feelings I had sorta put my first crush in the back of my mind and never revisited it. The class ended and that was it. About 6 months later I was bartending at a bowling alley and one of the leagues was 80% lesbian and they made me VERY nervous. There were a couple of the women that kinda flirted, like you do with bartenders but one caught my attention. She wore mens jeans and mens pullovers and had very short hair, I couldn’t help but watch her, she was funny and nice and a genuinely happy person. The last night of the league she was a little drunk and she came behind the bar, something you do not do, and pulled me close, took my hand and started dancing with me. I don’t think I breathed the entire time.

By this time I was married to a wonderful man and we were actively trying to get pregnant. The bartending was a night job and during the day I worked in a small medical office with a few wonderful girls. By this time I figured I was bi-sexual, as was another femmy girl I worked with who was single, she needed someone to go to the gay bars with her so we went together. In the next 4 years I had a son and figured out I was gay, I decided to stay with my husband and not tell him ( I had told him about my attraction to women when we were dating) because he was a wonderful husband and father but I made my bed and I was going to lie in it.

My son was 9 months old when I came to the conclusion I was gay and that I LOVED butch women. The only people that turned my head were butch women. ¬†I couldn’t even begin to explain why my body reacted the way it did when I saw a Butch. My heart would speed up, the hair on the back of my neck would rise and I was all the sudden struck stupid. All I could do was stop and stare and when one caught me staring I would hurry up and run away.At the age of 35 I finally realized I had no choice but to come out and leave my husband.¬†

My wife and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and she is very butch. Has always held butchish (?) jobs and gets sir’d a lot. Probably because she is in a male dominated field and people just assume she’s a guy in her jeans, wifebeaters, and ball caps. She’s been told many times she is in the wrong bathroom but I dont see how they can mistake her for a man because she is so much more then that and better then that. She is a butch woman. She even gets a kick now, out of the fact that a butch anywhere will stop me in my tracks, she is VERY secure in our relationship and knows I choose to be with her. At first it kinda put her off but I explained it to her this way, butch women don’t get the appreciation they deserve. I asked her if she was ever out and about and caught a woman staring at her with “that” expression on their face, the one of adoration and wanting. When she replied yes I asked her how that made her feel and she admitted it was an ego boost and put a hop in her step and made her puff out her chest because it was something she rarely came across. I told her that yes I am hers and no one could ever do for me what she does for me but everyone deserves to be appreciated especially the most wonderful creatures on this earth, butch women.

I look like your typical everyday straight woman, but I’m not. I am only read as lesbian if I am with her and on her arm, and she loves it. She loves that people look at her and envy her because she has me and they don’t. I’m nothing special but butch women love their femmes and think the world of them.

 

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT BUTCH WOMEN 

the perfect balance between masculine and feminine.

the strength of spirit

the compassion and understanding

the way they open doors and lead down the street

the soft skin and curves

the strong arms, for a couple reasons ūüėČ ¬†¬†

the way they make me feel safe

the look on their face when I am in a dress, heels and totally made up

they way I feel cuddled into them in bed.

the way they are in bed

the swagger and confidence

the open mindedness 

There are so many reasons that butch women are the ONLY women I am attracted to. I was born to be with a butch. We fit perfectly together. Give me a butch women with tattoos and a motorcycle and I am a happy woman.