For the love of a Butch

God I love Butch women, I have since the age of 10 and I’m now in my later 30’s. My first Butch crush was a friend of my mothers, she kinda adopted my mom as her second mom and came over a lot. I couldn’t explain my attraction to her I didn’t have the knowledge or vocabulary for it but I had to be near her.  Just the thought of her these 28 years later gives me a slight shiver, I cant quite remember what she smelled like but I remember that everytime I got a wiff of her my heart would skip a beat. She played basketball and softball and I loved going to her games. I actually have her phone number in my phone because when my mom died last year I was going thru her phone to contact people and saw it. I vividly remember her coming over one day and I stole her wallet so she couldn’t leave, when I gave it back to her I had added a note inside that said “I love you”. I also have a couple pictures of her on my computer, one of her as a teenager about 17 and one taken with my mom 2 years ago where she is 43. In a way I compare all butches to her I cant help it.

I was 21 years old before another woman caught my attention, she was the instructer in a class I was taking and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her, I was so confused because I didn’t recognize these feelings I had sorta put my first crush in the back of my mind and never revisited it. The class ended and that was it. About 6 months later I was bartending at a bowling alley and one of the leagues was 80% lesbian and they made me VERY nervous. There were a couple of the women that kinda flirted, like you do with bartenders but one caught my attention. She wore mens jeans and mens pullovers and had very short hair, I couldn’t help but watch her, she was funny and nice and a genuinely happy person. The last night of the league she was a little drunk and she came behind the bar, something you do not do, and pulled me close, took my hand and started dancing with me. I don’t think I breathed the entire time.

By this time I was married to a wonderful man and we were actively trying to get pregnant. The bartending was a night job and during the day I worked in a small medical office with a few wonderful girls. By this time I figured I was bi-sexual, as was another femmy girl I worked with who was single, she needed someone to go to the gay bars with her so we went together. In the next 4 years I had a son and figured out I was gay, I decided to stay with my husband and not tell him ( I had told him about my attraction to women when we were dating) because he was a wonderful husband and father but I made my bed and I was going to lie in it.

My son was 9 months old when I came to the conclusion I was gay and that I LOVED butch women. The only people that turned my head were butch women.  I couldn’t even begin to explain why my body reacted the way it did when I saw a Butch. My heart would speed up, the hair on the back of my neck would rise and I was all the sudden struck stupid. All I could do was stop and stare and when one caught me staring I would hurry up and run away.At the age of 35 I finally realized I had no choice but to come out and leave my husband. 

My wife and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and she is very butch. Has always held butchish (?) jobs and gets sir’d a lot. Probably because she is in a male dominated field and people just assume she’s a guy in her jeans, wifebeaters, and ball caps. She’s been told many times she is in the wrong bathroom but I dont see how they can mistake her for a man because she is so much more then that and better then that. She is a butch woman. She even gets a kick now, out of the fact that a butch anywhere will stop me in my tracks, she is VERY secure in our relationship and knows I choose to be with her. At first it kinda put her off but I explained it to her this way, butch women don’t get the appreciation they deserve. I asked her if she was ever out and about and caught a woman staring at her with “that” expression on their face, the one of adoration and wanting. When she replied yes I asked her how that made her feel and she admitted it was an ego boost and put a hop in her step and made her puff out her chest because it was something she rarely came across. I told her that yes I am hers and no one could ever do for me what she does for me but everyone deserves to be appreciated especially the most wonderful creatures on this earth, butch women.

I look like your typical everyday straight woman, but I’m not. I am only read as lesbian if I am with her and on her arm, and she loves it. She loves that people look at her and envy her because she has me and they don’t. I’m nothing special but butch women love their femmes and think the world of them.

 

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT BUTCH WOMEN 

the perfect balance between masculine and feminine.

the strength of spirit

the compassion and understanding

the way they open doors and lead down the street

the soft skin and curves

the strong arms, for a couple reasons 😉   

the way they make me feel safe

the look on their face when I am in a dress, heels and totally made up

they way I feel cuddled into them in bed.

the way they are in bed

the swagger and confidence

the open mindedness 

There are so many reasons that butch women are the ONLY women I am attracted to. I was born to be with a butch. We fit perfectly together. Give me a butch women with tattoos and a motorcycle and I am a happy woman.

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